


You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds

by jcebum



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Read at Your Own Risk, Unbeta-ed, inspired by mayday parade's long ass titled beautiful song, markson, pls listen to mayday parade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7999999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jcebum/pseuds/jcebum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tell me once again, that you'll love me to death.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to Mayday Parade's "You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds" while reading this!
> 
> Enjoy. :)

"Flight 428 will leave in 5 minutes. Please make sure your seatbelt is fastened before the plane takes off. Thank you, and have a safe flight."

The same thing is repeated again in Chinese, but Mark doesn't pay much attention to it to actually care. Although he's been living in Shenzhen for nearly four years, he hasn't lost his English speaking skills (if anything, it got better).

GOT7 disbanded 2 years and 360 days ago. Each member went back to their hometowns (if it's not Korea). Bambam went back to Thailand and Jackson to Hong Kong. Not Mark, though. He didn't go back to America. He went to Shenzhen instead.

After living there for 2 years and 355 days, his Mandarin, Cantonese, as well as English speaking skills improved. His Korean's a bit rusty, but he could still speak without a big difficulty.

Also, after living in Shenzhen for nearly 3 years, he decided that he needed a change.

Today, he's leaving for Hong Kong.

Mark doesn't know what the others are doing right now, or what's been happening in their lives (except for the fact that Jackson's occupation is currently as a CF Model, but he's currently taking a 3 month break), because they were all too busy to text each other. It's okay, though. Mark understands. But admittedly, it gets kind of lonely sometimes without his second family. He misses them.

 

 

 

 

 

"We have safely arrived in Hong Kong. Please check all of your belongings, whether you have all of them in hand as you left from Shenzhen or not. Also, please exit out of the plane carefully. Have a good night!"

Mark grabs his black medium-sized (nearly large, actually) suitcase and heads for the exit. It's getting pretty dark, but luckily Mark already booked a hotel room (he didn't go for an apartment because he wasn't sure if he was going to stay for longer than a week) so he doesn't have to stress that much.

 

 

 

 

Mark wakes up, face covered in sweat as he pants. His eyes wide, his lips parted — he's scared. He shakily gathers his knees up to his chest and hugs them tight to his body using his arms and cries it out.

He misses Jackson. He can't be strong without him. He wonders how Jackson's been handling himself. Has he been eating well? He misses Jackson. He misses Jia Er. He misses Ka Yee.

He needs to see him, needs to see him soon, needs to see him _now_ — but he knows that's impossible.

 

 

 

 

Mark looks at himself in the mirror. He's wearing ripped black skinny jeans, a black shirt and a denim jacket on top. He fixes his black hair before sighing. His hands fall back to his sides, and he lifts them up slightly to his hips and feels his fingers prickling a bit of his exposed skin.

His fingers are cold. Not like Jackson's, _never_ like Jackson's.

He wants Jackson. He wants Jackson to hold him close again, wants him to kiss him everywhere again, wants to see him again.

_He misses Jackson._

 

 

 

 

"Shenji, I need your help," Mark speaks through the phone.

"What do you need help with?" Shenji asked, clearly confused because Mark's supposed to be in Shenzhen and she's in _Hong Kong_ —

"You have access to all Hong Kong citizens' phone numbers, right?" Mark asked.

"Uh, yeah," Shenji replies.

"Can you find Sophia Wang?" Mark asks.

"Sure, I guess. I'll be back in a few minutes, don't hang up," Shenji answers as she does what Mark asks.

 

 

 

 

"Hello?" The other line spoke.

"Hello," Mark was able to whisper out, though it didn't go unnoticeable.

"Mark?" She questions, and Mark gulps.

"Uh hi, Mama Wang, um. Please don't tell Jackson that I'm calling. I want this to be a surprise. On the day of New Years Eve at 10 pm, can you and Jackson come to the hotel I'm staying at? I'll send you the location later," Mark says, trying to even out his breathing.

"Ah, okay. Do you want to tell me why?"

"I can't — at least not yet," Mark says. "Bye Mama Wang."

"Bye Mark," she replies, "It's nice to finally talk to you again."

 

 

 

 

Jackson is in his room. His room is colored a light grey with white borders. He's sitting on his bed, his phone in hand as he texts away his off days as much as he can.

Jackson doesn't know when he started feeling lonelier than he used to, and in a way although he wouldn't call it that exactly, he feels quite numb. He doesn't know what love feels like.

No. He does.

He just forgot what loving someone that he wants to spend his lifetime is like, and he forgot how amazing and enjoyable it is to know that that person loves him back.

But he doesn't — _he doesn't know._

And that's why he's here now, in Hong Kong. He's the reason why GOT7 broke up, why their dreams shattered. He blames himself that day, and he still continues to.

 

 

 

 

 

"Mommy, why are we here?" Jackson asks. Even after all these years, something definite hasn't changed; he still calls his mother _mommy._

"A good performance will happen here tonight. Also, Jinyoung and Jaebum wanted to see you," nothing that came out of his mother's weren't true, because yes there will be a performance and yes Mark had called Jaebum and Jinyoung to come, and they had agreed because they miss Jackson as well.

 

 

 

 

"Hello, Jackson-ah," Jaebum greets, smiling.

"Hi, hyung," Jackson says, managing a small smile.

Jackson's eyes trails down from Jaebum's eyes to the person next to him, Jinyoung, and eyes Jaebum's left arm around Jinyoung's waist.

"Jackson! Good to see you," Jinyoung says.

"Good to see you too," Jackson replies, and he's never felt anymore awkward with his ex-bandmates than ever before.

"I'm going to grab some drinks. Do you guys want anything?" Jackson's mother offers.

"Water will be fine, thank you Mrs. Wang," Jinyoung says, followed by the approving hum from his boyfriend.

Once Jackson's mother is gone for the moment, Jinyoung's happy face falls for a bit. "Jackson, you're okay?" 

"I'm fine," Jackson assures him, but he knows the two don't believe him.

"It's almost 10 PM, come on," Jinyoung says as he grabs ahold of Jackson's hand and drags him to wherever.

Jackson doesn't complain, and his mother is smiling from the place she stands at as she sees them reunited again.

 

 

 

The three of them sit on the front row, the seats apparently already booked for them. After a while, Jackson's mother comes back, and she sits beside him.

"You'll love this, I know you will," Jackson's mother whispers quietly, taking ahold of her son's hand tightly.

 

 

 

Mark is _beyond_ nervous. He has his brown acoustic guitar in hand (yes, he learned guitar as well as trained his voice in Shenzhen) as he stares at the audience from behind the red curtain.

Shenji takes a few steps forward and places her hand on his shoulder comfortingly, knowing that her friend must be feeling a lot right now. Nevertheless, she says encouraging words to him and pushes him slightly forwards, and Mark readies himself for the last time before going out.

Mark walks out, not making eye contact with any of the people in the audience and goes to sit on the chair provided in the middle of the stage, along with a microphone on its stand in front of him.

Mark finally looks up, and his breath hitches as he finally sees the anchor that keeps his feet on the ground, and how he (Mark) is the wings that (used to) keep Jackson's heart in the clouds.

Jackson's eyes still had their sparkles, but fewer and duller now. Jackson's still fit, but he looks as if eating wasn't fun anymore.

Jackson wasn't being Jackson, and Mark plans on fixing that.

"Good evening, everyone. Before I start, I would like to dedicate this song to the person I've loved yesterday, the person that I love today, and the person I'll love the everyday. _Please listen to me_."

 

 

 

 

It's been years since Jackson saw Mark again, and Jackson feels like collapsing in the older's arms, because he's never felt so weak before. He needs Mark, as much as Mark needs him, and it's tearing the two of them apart because of it.

 

 

 

 

 

_And honestly I have been begging for answers_  
_That you and only you can give to me._  
_My voice crying loud,_  
_I've been crying for days now,_  
_And as I start to run, I stop to breathe._

 

Mark looks at Jackson, and Jackson looks back. Jackson could feel the unsung feelings Mark had felt through this years, and that he was never alone in terms of feeling lonely between the two of them.

 

_(And I was nearly scared to death)_  
_And I was nearly scared to death_  
_(Of why you left in paragraphs)_  
_Of why you left in paragraphs_  
_(The words were nearly over us)_  
_The words were nearly over us_  
_You stop and turn and grab your bags_

 

Mark is reminded of the last time (before today) he saw Jackson. He remembers how sad and upset and depressed and— he never wants Jackson to feel like that ever again. It pained him to see Jackson walk away, but what could he have possibly done that day? He too was heartbroken, and in a state like that, he just couldn't think or say anything, other than a small whisper of _stay_ that went unnoticed.

 

_And I'll be here by the ocean_  
_Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams_  
_All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes_  
_And every wave drags me to sea_

 

Mark is (unfortunately) reminded of all the times he's cried, of all the times he's broken down for the past few years without Jackson by his side. It was hell for him, every single fucking time, but he had to stay strong. For his parents, his siblings, for himself, but mostly, for _Jackson_.

 

_I could stand here for hours_  
_Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"_  
_With a tear in His voice, He says, "Son, that's the question."_  
_Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?_

 

Mark's known as the quiet one out of the two of them (of course). And Jackson complains, used to complain, about how quiet Mark is. And Mark acknowledges that fact, because how is it not true?

But Mark's silence is normal. Jackson's, however, isn't.

 

_As hours move to minutes_  
_And minutes take longer to break_  
_I will be desperately awaiting_  
_When my tongue won't fall apart_  
_And we've been sitting here for hours_  
_All alone and in the dark_

 

Mark knows he's not the only one that's been feeling lonely, and Jackson knows that as well. They're two halves of a lonely heart that had grown apart from each other and are now itching to form one again, but getting it broken is easier than glueing it back.

 

_So let me think of how to word it_  
_Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?_  
_If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere_  
_I'm sure everything would find me_  
_All that's left is just to sing_

 

Mark is reminded of the time they were in the airport, where Bambam, Jackson, and himself were leaving for their respective destinations. If only he were given another thirty minutes to tell Jackson to hold on and stay strong, to tell him that pain will end soon, to tell him goodbye, _and to tell him that he loves him._

But that thirty minutes never came, and everything that was listed never came either.

 

_I'll be here by the ocean_  
_Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams_  
_All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes_  
_And every wave drags me to sea_

 

A huge part in Mark's mental stability broke when they parted. He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand that Jackson wasn't near him and was _definitely_ not feeling okay at all. He knew how Jackson was feeling, but he wasn't granted that goddamn thirty more minutes, and he hates it.

 

_I could stand here for hours_  
_Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"_  
_With a tear in His voice, He says, "Son, that's the question."_  
_Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?_

 

Mark doesn't realize it, but his eyes are getting glossier by the minute. Mark doesn't realize it, but someone does — _Jackson_ does.

 

_And if you sing to me sweet until then_  
_I may never sail Virginia again._  
_And as this current moves slow for me_  
_This much you must know: we'll meet again_  
_And I'll have you know I'm scared to death_

 

Mark remembers that time when they were on the couch in the living room together, Mark sat while Jackson's head rested on his lap, Mark's fingers playing with Jackson's hair.

"Are you afraid of death?"

Mark's eyes widened for a bit, not exactly expecting the question from the younger, but continued to listen to whatever his lover had to say.

"Are _you_?" Mark asks back.

"Yeah, sometimes," he confesses. "Sometimes I regret all the chances I could've possibly taken but didn't, and I'm scared that I've sinned far too much to be accepted in Heaven."

"Jackson, you are an angel," Mark softly says, tracing the line of Jackson's lips with his fingertips.

"I'm not," Jackson says, " _but you are._ "

 

_Tell me once again_  
_That you'll love me to the death_  
_And should I die, you swear that you will come for me_  
_As I fade away, you reach out your hand_  
_And please don't let me go._

 

Two tears left Mark's eyes, and Jackson listens with a heartbreaking as well as a little nostalgic feeling.

Mark wants to love him, and he wants to love Mark back, but how is Jackson supposed to love Mark again _when he has never even stopped?_

 

_And I'll be here by the ocean_  
_Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams_  
_All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes_  
_And every wave drags me to sea_  
_I could stand here for hours_  
_Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"_  
_With a tear in His voice, He says, "Son, that's the question."_  
_Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?_

 

Mark ends the song, and the audience is silent for a while.

That is before Jackson stands up and claps as loud and hard as he could, and the rest of them follow suit.

Mark looks up from his guitar and smiles. It's not the type of smile full of happiness, nor is it the type of smile that is always easy to spot as fake. It's the type of smile that shows all the events — be it good or bad — that he's been through. And it's _so fucking cliché_ , but neither Jackson nor Mark minds it one bit — not now, at least.

"I want you to know that I love you. I've loved you for so long, I can't live without you. I don't care how sappy or cliché this sounds, because I really need you in my life, please. I don't want to fall apart, I don't want to go through my hard times without you. And I also don't want you to be alone during your hard times, so _please_ , come back to me and love me again."

 

And Jackson understands, understands how Mark must be feeling, and so does Mark with what Jackson must be feeling.

They need each other, it's no doubt, but the both of them are broken. It'll be hard, _so goddamn hard_ , but Mark is willing to take that risk if it meant that they would love each other again.

"Jackson, _please._ Tell me you'll love me again," Mark says brokenly through the microphone, his breathing fucking up slowly.

Jackson takes a few steps forwards closer to stage, takes a few more steps, up the stage, and now he's just right in front of Mark.

Mark stands up and discards his guitar to the side, his eyes begging with more words he's already said before.

"I won't love you again, Yi En."

Mark's heart breaks.

"..because I've never stopped loving you," Jackson finishes, and Mark is then engulfed in the most safest arms he's ever felt around him, _home._

A home doesn't always have to be four walls and a rooftop. Sometimes, it's a pair of arms and legs and a beating heart.

And for Mark, it's Jackson. And for Jackson, it's Mark. 

And as the two finally fall into each other's embrace once more after so many years, the love that was hidden inside them blooms again, even stronger, even brighter, and even lovelier than before.

_Because Jackson is the anchor that keeps Mark's feet on the ground, and Mark is the wings that keep Jackson's heart in the clouds._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, critics as well as kudos are always appreciated! Tell me what you think of this, because at first I wanted to use Glen Hansard's "Falling Slowly", but then I changed to Mayday Parade's song. Still — I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
